Experience – week 4

In a communication with my guide, I was asked to go into detail about my actions toward realizing my goals in my DMP. A logical step. Lots of high talk, affirming all those things people always affirm while leaving out the nuts and bolts, the mechanics: that’s not going to accomplish anything.

But wait, isn’t this supposed to be mystical? Sometimes people in the church where I perform my music who think along the same lines as the Master Key devotees get hung up in the hocus pocus and never quite get to the “doing” part. Like picking up the phone, like writing that letter, like starting that list. Instead people sometimes think they need to pray more, or that they need to light more candles, or maybe we should meditate just a little longer. The outcome then tends to be delayed if there’s an outcome at all. What we end up with are a lot of frustrated people, buying even more books on how to meditate, how to visualize and how to do affirmations.

It reminds me of a friend who wanted to do voiceovers. He took thousands of dollars worth of classes. He sound proofed his recording space. He practiced and practiced. “So have you recorded anything?” I asked him. “Well, no. I don’t think I’m ready,” he told me. “Well I can help you. I’ll show you how to use the recording software and make the mp3s and so on. Did you download the software?”

“Well, yeah, but I haven’t opened it yet.” “Do you want me to help you?” “Well, I think I’m going to wait a bit, but thanks for the offer.”

So, the obvious thing that needs to happen is never considered as a requirement of the completion of the goal. Funny guy, my friend. Can’t quite get to second base. Sounds like something I would do

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Experience – Week 3

Why so many transitions all at once? Why not? A veritable cascade.

Coming to end of the 3rd Master Key directive, I saw that it was something I used to do long ago, then stopped doing for some inexplicable reason. When I did do it – the loosening of the muscles while thinking of nothing – the effects were magical. I remember after a meditation, I’d come out of it giddy and prone to spontaneous bursts of mirth and uncontrollable smiling in public. Weird, wonderful things happened. I remember posing the question to myself as I stood outside of myself, objectively watching myself glowing, “So why do you meditate?” And I’d answer myself, “For the buzz.” Why wouldn’t I want that to happen? It was the same reason people drank, took drugs, did extreme sports.

I went into my “zone” the last two mornings, wondering if I’d be able to go deep enough. Eventually I did as I always do, though not as early in the session as I’d wanted. Then while reading Og and while reading the Master Key lessons one time, I saw that there was an exact parallel; If I needed to control my focus, filter my wandering thoughts in meditation, I needed to apply that same focus to my readings, where my mind craved wandering. That freeway racket of thoughts, that stream of consciousness cacophony would present itself, intrude upon and interrupt my solace in exactly the same way it did in practically every other aspect of my life.

I remember a girlfriend long ago who told me that she enjoyed reading novels and letting her mind drift and explore the periphery of the text. A sentence, a phrase or an image would lead to another image, a memory, an unrelated-yet-related thought. I liked that. I agreed with it. Discovery. It is fun… in novels… in mind candy. But in important things, like soul-forming, future-molding, thought control? Maybe not.

I caught myself in my readings, drifting, fantasizing. “Wheeeeee!” I thought. “Oh, wait. Oops. This is neither the time nor the place for such things.”

A great lesson learned. Probably something I wouldn’t have stumbled upon without this whole Master Key exercise, this Master Key burden; yet another obligation in my otherwise obligated life. But you know what? This particular obligation is actually one of great benefit. I see the random decision of taking this on as serendipitous. I probably would have drifted even farther than I had been drifting… all the way to Japan.

Experience – Week 2

I had set out to increase the amount of music students I teach, and have doubled the count mysteriously, miraculously. Through a combination of clear mental statements, outreach and serendipity, the phone began to ring, the texts dinged and emails appeared. Fear and panic turned to “Ho-hum, I knew everything would be OK.” I even asked myself, “Shouldn’t you be a little more nervous? Why are you so content? You seem to have a lot of trust in the future turning out OK.”

That’s a trick I discovered over the years: Your first response should never be hysteria… in any urgent situation. Your first response should be to assess the situation, see what the real threat is and what’s just conjecture, and then wait for the haze to clear.

Haze. When I was a kid, we used to walk down to the creek to catch crayfish. It took time and patience. You’d stand downstream, turning over little rocks, watching the muddy water run past your ankles. As it cleared, you could see little creature scooting across the bottom where you’d pick him up and put him into your jar, your crayfish zoo. We’d take them back to the house and admire them, having no idea what to do next. It was just a feeling of accomplishment knowing what a clever hunter you were. Clever enough to wait for the hazy water to clear.

My haze cleared.

It was in the 80s when I read began exploring the world of metaphysics, delving deeply into meditation, more intense than my Transcendental Meditation of the 70s. It was also during that time that I first sat with the goal of silencing the noise in my head, much like Lesson 2 of the Master Key. My mind was like a freeway, constantly roaring with the randomness of everything happening around me, everything that had happened, everything that I imagined would happen.

One day as I was driving, having spent weeks or months meditating in my new way, I realized that there was no noise in my head. It was gone! It never really came back either.  I’d fallen out of the routine of meditating like that over the years, but this week, I rediscovered it. Why did I let it fall by the wayside in the first place? The benefits were so great, magical. Starting again, I found new magic.

Experience: Week 1

Focusing on new patterns exposes old patterns, I’ve noticed. Things that were taken for granted as normal behaviors become singled out for examination where they can be manipulated like objects.

I noticed an old pattern come out last night, and while it was playing, much like a movie I’ve watched many times, I got the realization that I could just not watch the movie. The movie was accompanied by emotions; all my thoughts have “some” kind of emotion, good, bad or seemingly neutral. This particular movie had a sadness and a kind of heaviness to it. I wanted to dwell on it. I asked myself in a sort of self-aware way – and all this was happening while I was lying awake last night – “Am I dwelling on this because I like the drama, because I like the familiarity of the misery, or am I dwelling on it because I want to examine it?”

Well, everyone goes to the movies to be emotionally touched; people do everything to be emotionally touched. They meet with friends; they try new things, new foods; try to win at sports; try to cook a great meal and have someone enjoy it. It could be anything. So I looked at the situation and acknowledged my need for an emotional connection to an experience, then looked at my desire to examine the emotion of this particular movie. And that is when I made the discovery that I have a lifelong habit of doing that. It’s the equivalent of browsing through an antique store, walking around until you find something, knowing that you will find something, but not knowing what. And when you find it, you’ll feel the elation of discovery. Just like when I write a story or an article: I often don’t know how it will end until the end reveals itself.

So what has more of a cost? Browsing through your mind and your emotions while a movie is playing itself out, or simply deciding to turn the movie off? Browsing the mind can be a maze, like playing solitaire on the computer all day or surfing the internet; an endless waste of time.

The conclusion? I turned the movie off and replaced the heavy emotions with some affirmations and slowly dozed off.

Hours later, waking up…  heaviness gone.